Why Is It So Hard to Change? A Closer Look at Our Thoughts and Habits

Elena here,

Today, I want to talk about change and why is it hard for some people to change? When clients come to see me it’s because they either want to let go of some unwanted habit, or they want to probably quit smoking, improve self confidence, and let go of something that they feel is holding them back.

The 1st question I ask my clients is “Are you ready to help yourself? “Are you ready to position yourself to win? Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone to do something you’ve never done before?”

See, very few of us are prepared to put in the effort required to change, and the fact is no one can make you change. Change requires that willingness to change, for you to make the decision, “I will change.” There is no magic pill that you can swallow to grant you your wishes. That only happens in the movie when the genie comes out of the bottle and says, ” Master you have three wishes that I will grant you. Choose wisely.” That just doesn’t happen in real life. If it did, your life would be so much different.

You can’t grow, expand, and realize something different if you keep telling yourselves the same story. If you do the same thing every day. If you say the same thing every day, eat the same things every day. Change will not happen.

What about you? What do you want to change? What needs to happen for you to change? You know, I feel that every door that closes, every hurdle you face, every wound you endure has a beautiful message for you. You are being called into action and asked to be present because challenges are opportunities. If we are not being challenged, how are you supposed to learn and grow and expand?

In one of my previous blogs, I talked about the mind: how we process information, why we do the things we do, and how the mind works. Today, I will talk about how we can get our mind to help us set goals and manifest them. We all have the resources required. We just don’t know how to access them.

We tend to use words, thoughts, that cause us to go back in time and revisit a memory that causes an emotional feeling. Every time you think about an incident that happened five, six, or even 10 years back, you elicit certain feelings related to that incident and you feel those emotions and feelings in the present moment.

The same thing happens, for example, when you think about something that may happen in the future, 99.9 times this will not manifest, yet the story that you tell yourselves will generate certain negative emotions that you feel in the present moment.

Every time you do something, say something, with repetition and frequency, the mind creates an unconscious pattern. So, for example, if you do something every day, like smoke 20 cigarettes a day, every day for 15 years, let’s say, this will hardwire your brain into that smoking habit.

The more you continue this habit, the deeper the unconscious pattern becomes. Someone who, let’s say, smokes 20 cigarettes a day imagine they reach for that cigarette unconsciously because they’ve been doing it for so many years, so many times that it starts to create an automatic function in the brain. And then that creates a part of them that does the smoking while they’re focusing on other things.

So then how can we get our mind to help us make changes that we desire? Because once we can make those changes that we desire, that’s when we’re able to move forward and fulfill our life with things that we want to make ourselves happier.

At any given second, we are bombarded with four billion bits of information. I want you to imagine all the colors available in our visual cortex, internal and external sounds, your thoughts distant noises available feelings, liver enzyme production, everything. Even blood flow.

All the information that we receive is being filtered by our RAS – (Reticular Activating System) — which takes instructions from our conscious mind and then passes them to our unconscious mind. Think of the RAS as a filter because it filters information from the outside inside.

It shifts through 4 billion bits of information and comes up with approximately 2000 bits to be interested in, and as we focus on one thing other things drop off from our awareness.

This includes us being safe, spotting danger, seeing familiar faces because our brain is designed to always protect us. So then now that we know that the RAS is the part of the brain that filters the information, how can we use this and get the RAS to work in our favor?

Let’s think about this. Is there any way that we can deliberately program the RAS by choosing the exact message you want to send to your conscious mind? And by doing that, for example you can set goals. You can say affirmations. You can visualize your goals the way you want them to happen. Let me show you how the RAS works.

Do you remember wanting to buy a particular car, in the past? Because I remember when I wanted to buy a Mercedes. I was looking at buying a Mercedes car, and I came across this C350 automatic, four-door, red color — I was very specific about the color, the interior. And once I decided that it was the car I wanted, suddenly, I started noticing more and more Mercedes cars on the road than before. That’s because my RAS was bringing in more of what I wanted. Do you remember experiencing something similar?

So then can we say that by focusing on what you want, the RAS will filter through the 4 billion bits of information, and it’ll come up with exact messages, “action required,” for you to achieve your goals? Can we say that? I think — I think that is something that we need to think about that. Because even Napoleon Hill said, “We can achieve any realistic goal if we keep on thinking of that goal and stop thinking any negative thoughts about it. If we keep thinking that we can’t achieve a goal, then our unconscious mind will help us not achieve it.”

Why is that? I think that’s because our RAS can not distinguish between real events and synthetic reality. For example, if you think about money problems, your unconscious mind will find money problems for you because it’s assuming that is what you want. On the other hand, if you focus on money abundance, your unconscious mind sends out information to gain financial abundance, and it’ll find ways so that you’ll be able to — somehow, someway — realize your goal.

You know, over the years, working with clients from different walks of life, I’ve realized that one of the obstacles that stands in one’s way of success is that inner voice that tends to be critical and harsh. That internal dialogue that the RAS filters and transfers to our unconscious mind. Because when that internal dialogue is positive, then positive results are being embedded. But if that internal dialogue is negative, negative results are being embedded.

Can you relate to situations in your own personal or professional life when your inner voice stood in the way of your success? So then, to change, you must be willing to do something different that you haven’t done before. You must think differently. You must move differently, eat differently. If you always skip breakfast, then maybe make one small change. Start having breakfast every morning and see how your body feels. Maybe it gives you more energy. Notice what happens once you make that small change. It’s important to make a small positive change, be consistent one time is not enough, repletion and frequency is the key, and focus on what you want because as you focus on what you want, your RAS will filter though the 4 billion bits and come up with what you require to achieve your goal.

I know sometimes it’s not so easy because negative thoughts come up. So, what happens when those negative thoughts come up? How can we deal with that? Here’s one way that I work with my negative thoughts when they do come up. The best thing is to acknowledge them. To say, “Yeah, I acknowledge that feeling.” Bring awareness to it, acknowledge it, and then do anything possible to release it and let it go. You can do different things.

• You can go for a walk.
• You can do tapping (see the FREE resources on my website)
• Listen to some relaxing music
• Do something you really enjoy doing

The moment you acknowledge, the negative feeling, and then start doing something different your brain starts to rewire it’s self because in that moment what you’re really saying to the brain is “Stop.” I really want you to do something different for me. It acts as a pattern interrupt, by stopping the negative thought, feeling, and getting you to focus on something else.

The intention is to do something to pattern interrupt that mental process. And bring awareness to that negative thought, acknowledge it, release it, and let it go.

I start my day with a daily mantra. I’m going to leave you today with my daily mantra. This helps me to start the day on this positive mental attitude. I hope that it helps you in your way of dealing with change and things that come up daily.

 Here it is:

“My Happiness, my health, and my financial situation will, in the long run, depend largely on the choices I make. I am consciously in charge of my life and create positive mental communications between my conscious and unconscious mind by consciously transmitting positive mental communications all the time.”